Self-Introduction (Revised)
Subject: Self-Introduction
My name is Muhammad Iqbal, but
you can call me Iqbal for short. I am writing this introductory letter for you
to know me better. I studied both aspects of engineering and business
during my polytechnic days. Having graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in
2018 with a diploma in engineering with business, I enrolled in civil
engineering at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) last September. After
receiving my diploma cert, I went to serve the nation for 2 years, as a
full-fledged military policeman, before coming to SIT.
My passion for engineering grew
when my dad brought me to his construction site. He was the project manager at
that time. He showed me how the upgrading works on pipes and drains were done.
Hence, he would elaborate on it in details. For example, he would share with me
the steps in building the pipes safely. That would make me curious and wanting
to learn more about the processes. As the saying goes, "Never stop
learning, because life will never stop teaching". That is the reason why I
pursue engineering.
I have never labelled myself as a
good communicator as I have difficulty in conversing with strangers. Whenever I
have a conversation with them, I would normally look down and stutter at
every sentence I said. That says a lot about my bad body language towards
people. This also shows that my confidence skills are very low. However, my only
strength would be my thinking skills as I can come up with ideas outside the
box. From there, I can elaborate it in my head and writing it down in point form.
The goals that I want to achieve
in this module is to communicate better with confidence to strangers and to
improve on my writing skills. If I am proficient in these two skills, I would have no issues in having a proper conversation with everyone.
I look forward to your upcoming
lessons and hope to be able to learn communication skills under your guidance.
Best regards,
Muhammad Iqbal
CVE 1281, Group 5
Thanks a million, Iqbal! I look forward to reading this and to seeing comments from your peers.
ReplyDeleteHey Iqbal, your letter is great. It lets me understand your background and I like the way you explain your passion for engineering in the past. I feel that for certain parts, the usage of vocabulary can be improved.
ReplyDeleteDear Marcus,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. I will improve on the usage of vocabulary as the days goes by.
Yours sincerely,
Iqbal
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete"Never stop learning, because life will never stop teaching". PREACH IT!
ReplyDeleteHi Iqbal, jokes aside, thank you for sharing and I really enjoyed reading what you have written.
The quote that your father shared with you has a weight to it, perhaps you can bring out a quality of your dad to substantiate the quote, and that quality could be what inspired you to follow his footsteps rather than mere curiosity.
Dear Hai Hong,
DeleteThank you for your great feedback. I am glad that you enjoyed reading my letter. Let's ace this module together!
Best regards,
Iqbal
Hi Iqbal, happy that I got to know you better from this letter. I believe you can improve on its clarity by reviewing the nouns and adjectives in your sentence structure. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteDear Syakirah,
DeleteThank you for you feedback. I will take note on my sentence structures and usage of my nouns. Let's ace this module together!
Best regards,
Iqbal
Hi Iqbal, I am glad you shared what has sparked your interest and I am sure we can overcome our weaknesses together!
ReplyDeleteDear Ben,
DeleteThank you for sharing your feedback. Let's ace this module together!
Best regards,
Iqbal
Hello Iqbal!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing more about yourself. The letter looks complete and courteous! You managed to convey the points clearly too.
Hope to get to know you in the coming weeks. I believe that you've got great potential to reach your goals. Let's strive for effective communication!
Best wishes,
Regina
Dear Regina,
DeleteThank you for sharing your feedback. I believe we can reach our goals for this module. Let's ace for effective communication!
Best regards,
Iqbal
Dear Iqbal,
ReplyDeleteI have read your letter and I already saw potential in it having one of the 7Cs, conciseness. At first glance, it felt like a letter that is short and sweet. Going deeper, I noticed your passion grew after a trip to your father’s construction site. I loved that part as it displayed very clearly why you are pursuing this course in SIT with me.
I enjoyed the saying you gave too; I agree that learning is a never-ending process, and everyone is learning from each other. I could tell you lack confidence as a communicator based on the words you used, “I have never labelled myself”.
The following would be my personal opinions on areas that you could improve, they are:
1. Completeness of the letter
- I felt that the letter may have lacked information to answer the initial requirements of the introductory letter. The missing factor would be the two goals that you hope to develop through this module. I think it was briefly explained but it was not elaborated enough.
2. The transitioning of the letter in paragraph two. I felt that the saying could come before the sentence “That would make me curious and wanting to learn more about the processes.”, as that would have linked to the reason to why you pursued engineering.
3. It might have been vague in terms of just saying engineering, maybe it would be better to include the reasons to choosing civil engineering, instead of just engineering.
Generally, I felt the letter was short and sweet. It covered many of the 7Cs and covered majority of the introductory letter requirements. Effort was there, and I feel your potential to grow is limitless!
Yours sincerely,
Quek Ming Hao
Dear Ming Hao,
DeleteThank you for sharing your feedback. I will take note on the 3 points you have listed. I will amend it soon. Let's ace effective communication together!
Best regards,
Iqbal
Dear Iqbal,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your patience, and apologies for the late review.
Your letter addresses the various paramaters of the assignment. We're all happy to learn about you, especially in regard to you being inspired by your father to take up engineering. I also appreciate your passion for learning.
You do a fine job mentioning in the letter your strength and weakness in communication. I'm glad that you see value in upscaling your skills. Let's start that by looking at the language use in this post:
1. sentence structure
--He showed me how upgrading works on pipes and drains. > (incomplete dependent/subordinate clause) He showed me the upgrading works on pipes and drains. OR He showed me how the upgrading works on pipes and drains were done.
-- I do not have the confidence to speak up, hence I would normally look down and stutter at every sentence I said. > (comma splice) ?
2. word forms
-- elaborate in my head or writing it down in point form. > (lack of parallel word form) ?
-- with more clarity and confident... > (lack of parallel word form) ?
-- and hope you can refine me to be a better communicator. > (wrong word: refine)
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. My dad is my inspiration, which is why I take up engineering. For this effective communication module, I will try to be more confident and participative to overcome my weaknesses. I will be looking forward to learn more from you.
As for the sentence structures and word forms, I have taken note of them and I will revise my letter accordingly.
Best regards,
Iqbal